No, Your Ex Didn’t Downgrade

Before we dive into the festive holiday posts (my favorite), I want to address something I’ve been seeing on Facebook lately.

Shane and I have been together for over 6 years, and I am genuinely surprised at how much I love him today. We’ve been through a lot; even before we ever started dating. We were close as friends when I was still with my ex and he was there after we broke up.

Let’s talk about that for a second: my ex and our break-up. It was not mutual, I still wanted a relationship with him, but it was for the best. Obviously it ended up well, because I got the best partner and friend I could have ever dreamed of out of the deal. Do I harbor bad feelings towards my ex? No! Sure, it’s awkward if we happen to run into each other around town, but I would never wish anything bad on him. Or his wife.

See, here’s what I’ve been seeing on Facebook:

I’m trying to figure out if this means her looks are a step down, or her personality or what. All I do know is how shitty this is. If you’re over your ex, why do you care who they’re with? Do you think she’s less attractive than you? WHO CARES?! You’re not dating her! If your ex is with her, there’s a reason. Sure, sometimes the reason is that they’re an asshole and could not, in a million years, appreciate you for all that you are.

But here’s the deal, bashing someone because they were chosen over you is not okay. We’re not in high school anymore.

She could be the nicest, most beautiful person in the world, but you would never know because you’re too busy caring about comparing yourself to her. Honestly, that says so much more about you than it does about her.

So, no, your ex didn’t downgrade. If they’re happier with her than they were with you, that’s an upgrade for them, regardless of how you feel about the situation. Instead of tearing this girl down that you (probably) don’t even know, go spend your time reminding yourself what makes you so amazing.



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