Time with our friends is important. I mean, hugely important. I can tell when I’ve gone too long without spending time with my best friends, because I start to not feel like myself. My best friends are all my best friends for different reasons. They each add a richness that I just don’t get from being without them. My best friends have all been there for me through the absolute worst time in my life, and the absolute best. They know what to say and when to say it. They understand when I can’t do something because of my anxiety and when to make me do something despite it.
So then why, considering all that, do we stop having sleepovers with our best friends when we become adults? Sure, we’re married and have families and lives of our own. But that doesn’t mean we suddenly stop needing those people. If anything, we need that time more as adults than we ever did as kids.
Here’s a little preview of a sleepover with my best friend before she had her baby:
I would get to her house after I got off work. We go get food, walk around Target, maybe run to a few other stores, go get a snack, and then go back to her house. Once there, we will eat the snacks (and candy we got from Target), watch movies, make popcorn, drink alcoholic beverages and then have coffee or a Coke to try and stay awake to finish the movies, wake up after the movie is over and instead of going straight to bed as planned, we would talk about life for the next hour. By the time I finally went to lie down in the comfiest bed in the world, I would look at my phone to text my husband goodnight, and it’s already almost four in the morning.
Here’s a little preview of a sleepover now that she has a baby:
I get to her house much earlier in the afternoon; a little after four when she gets home from picking him up from daycare. She feeds him while we talk and watch TV. As soon as she’s done (we’re on his time timeline, so we have about 2-3 hours before he’s ready to eat again), we gather everything and go to Target, a baby store, Starbucks drive-thru, and decide where we want to eat or pick up some food. We get back home with hopefully enough time for her to eat before he needs to be fed again. Otherwise she’s trying to eat while feeding him or she has to wait. If we need to go anywhere else, we consider whether it’s worth bringing him with us (how is he feeling? Would it be easier to leave him home with her husband? Should they both come with us?). If we don’t need to go anywhere, and we aren’t cooking dinner, we watch TV or movies, eat snacks, talk, and hang out. The baby has hopefully fallen asleep at this point, and we continue to do much of what we were already doing. We wake up after the movie is over and instead of going straight to bed as planned, we would talk about life for the next hour. By the time I finally went to lie down in the comfiest bed in the world, I would look at my phone to text my husband goodnight, and it’s already almost three in the morning.
Basically the same.
Shane and I are both of the mindset that time away from each other, with our own friends, doing our own things is not only okay, but sometimes necessary. Yes, we married each other so we could spend the rest of our lives together, but that doesn’t mean we want to be around each other every second of the day. Sometimes he gets on my nerves, and sometimes I get on his. It’s normal. We’re humans. And I feel like people have this idea that the only time you ever spend an evening away from each other is if you’re out of town, or if you’ve had a big fight. That’s how it’s portrayed in movies, at least. But that’s just silly. And probably why people don’t have more sleepovers! Plus, they’re a great way to hang out without having to worry about what time you have to head home or making sure you don’t drink too much.
What are your thoughts on sleepovers with your best friend as adults? If you do, what are some of your favorite things to do together? Let me know in the comments!