I am terrible at finishing things. There, I said it. Wrote it. Whatever.
I have a really bad habit of starting a project and not seeing it through to completion. Don’t get me wrong, if it’s something I’m particularly excited about or it’s fall or winter and the weather is nice, I can usually find it in me to get it done.
But even then, this would explain why I have a about five different unfinished novels and countless craft projects in my room right now.
Also, yes, I’m just now figuring this out about myself. Hence, the mid-year resolution: finish things, dammit!
As I wrote in this post, I have a hard time finding/maintaining motivation during the summer. I get seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.) and that plus the heat just zap all the energy right out of me. When I do get moments of motivation during the summer, there’s almost a guarantee that I’ll lose steam about three quarters of the way through it and then just stop. Usually, that’s contained in my art room, but sometimes it’s not.
The other night, I decided I would clean out the cabinet portion of the bookshelf we have in the living room. It kind of became a catch-all of sorts, and also storage for my candles and scents. I got down on the floor with my duster in hand and thoroughly went through it, pulling everything out, wiping it down, and tossing a good majority of the stuff inside. I was left with a trash pile and a box of random stuff that doesn’t need to be tossed, but that doesn’t quite have a place.
You know what I did with that stuff? I threw away anything the dog could get to and choke on, and then I just left everything else on the floor. And you know what happened after that? Shane tripped on it and hurt his hand. And did I get up and pick it up? Nope. I told him I was sorry for leaving it out and continued coloring as he picked it up and moved it aside.
And that still didn’t trigger anything in me except annoyance that I left the stuff out.
It wasn’t until I got up this morning and saw how much of a mess the apartment was from dinner last night and the mess I left from my attempt at cleaning and organizing yesterday that I got frustrated to the point of self-realization: I don’t finish things and that’s a problem.
Now, because of my personality, the alternative problematic behavior could potentially be the inability to leave a project/task uncompleted, even if that meant losing sleep, not eating, and ignoring others. And honestly, neither are better or worse than the other.
So this is me, admitting my problem, and committing to making a real effort to do better. It won’t be easy, as it will require me to reprioritize my time, but I know it’ll be better for me and my mental health in the long run.
Do you have mid-year resolutions? If so, what are they? Let me know in the comments.