Here’s your friendly holiday reminder not to ask people when they’re having kids, this holiday season or ever, even if it’s family.
1. You don’t know what they have been through or are going through.
2. It’s none of your business.
To my American friends celebrating Thanksgiving today, I hope you have a happy, safe, and fun holiday. If you have to work today, I wish for you that everyone you encounter is pleasant and patient, and full of holiday cheer. If you’re missing family this holiday season, as I am, I hope you have joy and peace in your heart and are surrounded by those you love, who love you. Let them take care of you and love you today, this holiday season, and forever.
To everyone else who doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving because of it’s complicated history or because you aren’t American, I hope you the same things as mentioned above for you, and happy Thursday.
- If you don’t like Christmas music, don’t listen to it. No one is forcing you to (unless you work somewhere that it’s played all the time). If someone is enjoying it, though, don’t shit on their party.
- Let people enjoy things. If someone wants to watch Christmas movies or decorate or have Christmas in their heart before Thanksgiving – leave them alone. They aren’t hurting you or impeding on your right to not celebrate it until after Turkey Day.
- People who have the Christmas spirit before Thanksgiving aren’t “skipping”, “disrespecting”, or “ignoring” Thanksgiving. We can play Christmas carols and enjoy some green bean casserole. Besides, we’re the only country that celebrates Thanksgiving in November and even then, a lot of people in this country don’t observe it because of the historical implications and the current climate and attitude toward indigenous peoples even in 2018.
- You don’t have to justify eating a big holiday meal, dessert, or treats. You also don’t have to diet for it or workout extra hard afterwards. You’re allowed to enjoy food and family and friends.
- If you experience disordered eating, it’s okay if you need to bow out of holiday festivities to avoid a relapse. It’s also okay to talk to someone about what’s going on or to bring your own food if necessary. Same goes for diet restrictions or other dietary needs.
- Stop saying stupid stuff like, “Calories don’t count during Christmas” or “get your fat pants ready”. Calories always count, obviously, but it’s okay to not count them. Also, all my pants are fat pants, because I’m fat. Eating lots of food for one meal might make you bloated, but it doesn’t make you fat. Maybe instead we could say, “Get your stretchy pants ready”? Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna say.
- Holidays can get overwhelming, especially if you have anxiety and/or are introverted. You don’t have to go to every single holiday party or activity or event. Prioritize the ones you feel are most important, and if you feel like going to the other ones, do it! If you can’t, don’t force yourself. Do what you can and be kind to yourself.
- If you don’t have a good relationship with your family, you aren’t required to see them during the holidays. Spend time with people who love and care about you and treat you with the kindness and respect you deserve. Your family is who you decide; whether they’re related to you or not.
- Quit acting offended when someone says “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”. They don’t know what holiday you celebrate. There are plenty of other things to be actually offended by. Besides, if they’re a cashier saying it, it might be company policy that they’re only allowed to say happy holidays and you getting mad at them doesn’t do anything but ruin their day over a rule that they can’t change and might think is silly, too. Retail workers have it hard as it is. Don’t make it worse.
- Speaking of retail workers – they don’t control the prices. They don’t control the sales. They don’t control the fact that your coupon expired two weeks ago or doesn’t work on the one particular item you came in to buy and you just failed to read the fine print. Standing for 4-8 hours, sometimes without a break in a high-energy environment where you’re constantly have to be “on” is fucking hard. They’re human. Have some compassion and a little patience.
I hope you all have a happy holiday season and as Ellen says, “Be kind to one another”.
Sometimes that word can bring in a sense of hope and change; a new beginning.
Sometimes that word can be so loaded and heavy.
Some people make them, and some people don’t.
I have always been one of those who do, but this year I am going to turn the typical sense that the word “resolutions” gives you, on its head.
Continue reading “Resolutions – Guest Blogger Post”
Gift cards have a reputation of being a bit of an unoriginal gift. Generally they’re associated with the giver not taking time to really consider what the receiver would want, or that they waited too long to get a gift so they’re just going to the “Gift Card Mall” at the grocery store. And I get it. If someone asked you what you want, and you took the time and effort to make a concise list keeping a budget in mind, and they still just got you a generic gift card, you wonder what the point was in putting all the time and effort into it. And you don’t want to seem ungrateful, because they didn’t have to get you anything at all!
Continue reading “10 Gift Cards I’d Love to Receive”